By Carole Hicks
Today, I’m in desperate need of reminding.
“Remind me, Dear Lord, of TRUTH. Remind me of Your Promises. Remind me of Your GRACE and LOVE and HOPE. Remind me of YOU … because the enemy is prowling around, growling and intimidating, and he has already pounced a few times. AND OH GOD, I need you to remind me that You are my RESCUER, my REFUGE, my REDEEMER, and own ROARING LION OF JUDAH. Remind me, Lord … that You are with me, so it doesn’t matter who is against me. Remind me that You go before me to make the rough places smooth and the crooked places straight. Remind me that You hold me with your Righteous Right Hand … and you will not leave, you will not forsake me. Remind me that You are ever present, ever powerful, ever knowing … ever loving and so TRUSTWORTHY that I cannot imagine what You have in store for me. Remind me … of all your benefits.”
When I first got married and was living in Germany, I was only 19 years old. I didn’t have a clue about anything … I was clueless. For a while we lived out in the countryside with no TV … only a radio that picked up Armed Forces Network. I had no phone and I had no car. So I read, and I wrote and I listened to the radio … and I wrote some more. I spent days by myself with no one to talk to because everyone who lived around me was of some other nationality. (except for two black kids, ages 10 & 12, who lived in the very attic of the house and stayed there during the day (for it was summer) by themselves because their father (a single parent) was in the Army; and a little girl named, Berniece, age 4, who lived in the third story of the house) . Every now and then, they would come down and say hello to me. Sometimes, the landlord, who spoke no English, would knock on my door and hand me a pie.
All that was a benefit.
After a few months of living so far out of town, we were able to get housing closer to post. We prayed for the means or favor to get a washer and dryer from the “supply office” on post, but there was a long, long waiting list. The apartment we moved in to had a washer and dryer but we were told they would be coming to pick it up for someone higher on the list. They never came to get it … and we used the washer/dryer until we were transferred back to the states.
That was a benefit.
I was reminded a bit earlier today to look back over my life and notice a pattern, or “standard operating procedure.” The reminder came from my mother … who was pointing out to me that “people are against me.” She thought she was being helpful, but ultimately it became hateful. I said, “Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.” She agreed, but quickly noted that I was not following what she was saying. (It’s difficult sometimes)
For a few weeks now, I’ve been thinking and prayerfully considering the direction of my life. For the past three days, I have heard the Holy Spirit say to me, “Do not forget His benefits.” Vaguely and gingerly, my mind began to recall days in the past when God “has not forsaken me.” A still small voice has continually reminded me, “Do not forget His benefits.”
I was beginning to feel very low today. I have put out so many “fleeces” and “feelers” and have received response from just one. I don’t know how it will turn out, nor do I know all the details if it did. Time is drawing near for a decision to be made and I have no clear direction. I called my mother, just to talk, but she did not answer. That was okay. A few hours later, she called me. She asked me if I had decided anything yet and assured me that she was praying for me. Then suddenly the conversation tone changed and she was pointing out how I have little regard for what she, or my daddy, or my sisters have to say in my life. That I’m “selfish,” and I don’t realize that they people I think are my friends, “are really not my friends.” She told me that I have set my sights too high and I need to just come down off my high horse and start at the bottom again. “After all, every where you start, you end up back on top, so what difference does it make.”
Then she said, “If God sent you to Africa you would be starting at the bottom … “
I interrupted and said, “Well, He sent me to Berea.” To which she replied, “God didn’t send you to Berea, it was those friends of yours who just wanted you out of that church.”
Well, I immediately recognized the “fiery dart,” and went into defense mode with my armor. “That’s not true, Mother.”
“Yes it is!” she insisted. “It’s time you knew what they are saying behind your back.”
I asked her how she would know what anyone was saying behind my back because she never left the house to see anyone. And she told me that “my family was having to defend me because my so-called friends were talking about me.” But of course, she didn’t know any names and would not tell me who my friends had been talking to.
In any event, it came down to the idea that I’m selfish and self-serving and do not care at all about Jack. And everyone (in particular my Christian friends) think and say that I am taking advantage of people by pursuing my own interests and not being humble enough to work at a job that is “beneath me.”
THANK GOD!!!! THANK GOD for the Holy Spirit … the Counselor and Comforter who is always present and whispering to my spirit … “Forget NOT all His benefits.”
She hung up the phone as she commanded me to “chew on all that.” I thought to myself, “DEAR LORD, Why???”
Immediately I was reminded of another time in life, when my girls and I were struggling to “just survive.” It was near Christmas … the light bill was past-due, the house insurance was due, and the land taxes were due … and I had absolutely NO MONEY. I was about 27-years old and trying desperately to hold it all together by myself. I prayed to God, but I was so guilt-ridden by sin and failure that there was no way that I thought He would help me. Oddly enough, at the Christmas church service, someone brought an envelope to me. I opened it and read, “Your utility bill, house insurance and land taxes have been paid. Here is $200 to buy Christmas presents for your children.” I had not shared with anyone my plight. (now Benton is a small town and not known for integrity … but I choose to believe now that God did this)
I was floored by this generosity. When we got back home, I shared exuberantly with the girls of how God had blessed us and rescued us from this financial circumstance. They looked at me as young children do … a bit blankly, but nodding their heads in agreement. Unfortunately, Satan was crouching at the door … and the next weekend, the words of my ex-husband threw ice water on our blessing.
The girls had shared with him what God had done for us. And he told them, “Well, that’s the only reason your mother goes to church … to get people to feel sorry for her and to give her things.” I was mortified when my children confronted me with this. Then he called and told me that he was sick and tired of me raising his children like “white trash” and having to take hand outs from people all because I was too sorry to get a good job.
Oh, I didn’t mention that I was working three jobs … teaching exercise at the YMCA and the church tutoring students at college in remedial classes, and substitute teaching while I was going to school.
His attack on my character was devastating and I carried it with me for nearly ten years. It was only after a great deal of Bible study, prayer and restoration that I realized how Satan had ripped the JOY of that blessing right out of my hands, heart and mind. And I allowed it to happen because I did not know the TRUTH. I had never even stopped to take note of the passage, “Forget not all His benefits.” I was a defeated Christian, shackled by shame, guilt and fear.
So today … as my mother spouted out those hateful words again … I admit that I took the blow. It was like a slap in the face … imagine it if you will. But in my mind, I can see me shaking my head, just like Rocky when he was hit, and I got up. Ringing in my head were the words, “Forget NOT all His benefits.”
“You know the TRUTH!”
“This is a lie from SATAN!”
“Forget NOT ALL HIS BENEFITS!!!!!”
It hurt my feelings to hear my mother say those things. But, my FATHER came to my rescue and reminded me that “the righteous have never been forsaken or out begging for bread.” I know … I know… the TRUTH, PRAISE GOD!!! I’ll not receive the words of my mother, or anyone else who will dismiss the mighty works of my FATHER GOD … my Jehovah Jireh.
So today … and tomorrow … I must not, we must not … we must never forget all His benefits.
Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Psalm 103:2 (NIV)
